You have parted the seas of pain in my life
Been my fortress in the fires of my suffering
Walked with me
Over the waters of my fear
And through every storm
You have been my covering.
How much more can you do
In these Covid times we are in,
As events continue to unfold.
We have seen it before
And we will see it again
Your goodness, Your victory, retold!
It is so easy, in this current climate, to feel discouraged and full of anxiety as our world has been flipped upside down. My hope is that this poem helps to settle the sorrows and calm the fears through this reminder of who God is. For me, when I fix my eyes on Jesus; on what He has done in my life and throughout history, I am filled with tremendous peace. This peace comes from a place of confidence and trust in who God is. God is abounding in love and faithfulness (psalm 86:15), God is our ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1-3), He is our refuge (Deuteronomy 33:27), victorious (1 Corinthians 15:57) and we are more than conquerors through Christ who loves us (Roman 8:37).
And I will love you
With a fragile delicacy
Honouring your vase like heart
I will polish you with words of love
Of mastery, of magic
I will display you on the highest mantle
The pinnacle of my life
For all the world to see
And if there ever comes a time
Where my actions fall short
And my words too clumsy, too brash
I will fill all the cracks in you
With the tenderness you deserve
For there is immeasurable beauty
In your stunning sensitivity
A heart so feeling, so full
And I will love you
With all the gentleness & tenderness
Your heart requires
And I will love you
Until all the seeds in you bloom full
And I will love you
Today
And ever more
I will love you.
In silence, I stand
Nipples bared and bowed
To the bravery of the stolen
Of the forgotten voices
Of the raped
Of the tortured
Of those killed in the name of freedom
I bare my body
I surrender this suit
I plaster truth
I carve it into the bones of me
Until the world hears
En Chile torturan violan y matan.
“In Chile they torture, rape and kill.”
Looking back at Seasons Change I can see how the inspirations that drove the poem really shine through. One being this poem:
“Of all the people you have kissed she was your favourite because she didn’t flinch when you curled your hand around her neck and tightened. She said “I break the law because I’ve never broken a heart and I want to know what it feels like to be the brick not the window pane”. When she’s drunk she’ll dress up for you, all straps & lace & stockings. When she’s high she’ll dress down for you, all skin & skin & skin.” – by Annabelle Nyst
These powerful, delicate lines have followed me for over 5 years, still affecting me each time I read them and I wanted to write a poem that carried the same energy and life (a very hard task but at least I tried).
From what started off as a few lines, my poem gained a life of its own as I got really involved with the idea that I wanted this poem to be about love, to about a relationship that goes through natural seasons. A love that grows from an intense infatuation into a mild disdain, leading to an eventual break up. I wanted this poem to really embody the imagery of earth’s four seasons (here’s hoping I achieved that??).
When I wrote “Seasons Change” in 2017, it may have been a few months after a month long romance I had that I couldn’t say inspired this poem entirely as the love presented in this poem is grounded in a long-standing relationship that I had yet to experience. But I find it so interesting how I can transfigure my experience, of a short whirlwind romance, into a poem about a true love relationship that grew cold over time and only freedom from that relationship could bring my protagonist back to the warmth of her own self love. But I guess that’s the beauty of art and partially fictional prose.
I can relate to this poem a lot more now after recently coming out of a relationship and feeling the comfort and relief that can come from a much needed time alone. It’s interesting to think that this poem kind of foreshadows things I was yet to experience. But that could be a result of time being an illusion, that the dividing line between past, present and future is an illusion, that everything that has happened or will happen is happening right now in this very moment but we are unable to perceive it. But I digress…
This poem is about a seasonal love affair that contains the same torrid energy as the weather, holding the same beauty and inescapably mystery.
Your Truly,
Ruth Elora -x-
P.S. Read ‘Seasons Change‘ if you haven’t yet, love ya xx
You were my climate
I would bend & yield to your slightest variation
When you were my sun, I would dress down for you, all skin, melanin, exposure
Blanketed by your warmth
I vacationed in your love
Until the season called for your coldness
I would grimace & endure your presence
Like a sore throat in recovery
The autumns of your indifference
Brought with it a kaleidoscope of mystery
As the leaves fell from our dreams
Unrealised
We marvelled at the unsettling paradox
That the beauty of our ideals may never be fully actualised
But the beauty remains unwavering
All the same
The winter of our love
Brought with it a necessary mourning
As I purged you, heart and soul
Piercing through with icy precision
I allowed it to hurt
I gloried in the courage it took to brave your coldness
To endure
Until the last morsel of this blizzarding love
Melted away
Bringing forth a spring of reflection
Of clarity
As I meditated on all the reasons I had to leave:
That no matter how hard I tried to adapt
To your vicissitudes
Your endless variations
I found myself staring
Perpetually
At this ticket back
To myself
For my heart is a tropical island
Of dreams & beauty & irresistible warmth
Until my rain comes like a hot baptism
Ready to cleanse & make a new
To saver in the promise of a warmer tomorrow
And for now, maybe that’s what I need more
As I vacationed in your temperate maritime climate
It is time for this sojourning soldier to return home
Tonight we dance.
With Electrified bodies
With minds floating far from concerns,
Tonight we riot.
All leather skirts and red lips to the ready
We use our fashion to scream at convention
At the uniform
At the mundane business of the working.
For tonight is Saturday
Every hour of this night is our own.
So let us lavish in laughter, in dancing and gin
As we brace ourselves for the week to begin.
It’s not here
The Fear that plagues you
The Love that binds you
The Desire that drives you
It’s not here
The mechanisms of love
The barriers you place around it
The romantic illusions that pollute it
The myths that mask you from the truth
It’s not here
The saving grace
The divine light
Blazing away sorrows history
From your veins, from your veins
It’s not here
In that powdery embrace
A nose full, a mouth full,
a forbidden pharmacy
It’s not here
In that liquid luck
And all the ways you try to orchestrate your own destruction
It’s not here
It’s not here
It’s not here
Look within.
Here’s to us;
Making it this far,
Another year approaching,
Ready for us to take it in our stride
And as we dust down those resolutions,
Reviewing the messes we’ve made,
The triumphs we’ve tasted,
Taking a shot for every disappointment
And dancing in the embers of the past –
We bound forwards,
Revelling in the victory
Of all we’ve overcome.
Nothing compares to this strength,
The courage it take to evolve
And survive the torture of our cocoons.
For now, we emerge.
Glittering and ready
For all this year, this life
Has in store.
Called by the knowing
The inner whisper from
The timeless
To a timezone
Where seconds melt away
And potential burns through
The transition
The disquiet
That follows one passing phase
Into another
With all of life
Brimming and bubbling in the bones of you
Here births the realised dream
The magnetised pull
To the future you
That is already fulfilled
Already the dazzling wonder
You feel so vividly in the distance
One you are with this dream
And all future yous
Living fully
In the present
Welcome to Ruth's Rhapsody 