In silence, I stand
Nipples bared and bowed
To the bravery of the stolen
Of the forgotten voices
Of the raped
Of the tortured
Of those killed in the name of freedom
I bare my body
I surrender this suit
I plaster truth
I carve it into the bones of me
Until the world hears
En Chile torturan violan y matan.
“In Chile they torture, rape and kill.”
The story behind the poem My Body, My Protest, begins with me stumbling into bed at 4:30am, slightly (or not so slightly) intoxicated after a night out dancing. I was doing the habitual scroll through my Instagram timeline when I came across an E! News post detailing the events occurring at the Latin Grammy’s. This is where I first saw Mon Laferte’s political red carpet protest moment, where she completely bares her chest to strategically raise awareness of the grotesque acts of police brutality taking place in Chile right now.
Chile is currently experiencing a season of political unrest as thousands exercise their political right to protest. Protesters are taking to the streets to express their fury at the establishment and are demanding social reforms to address the high levels of inequality the country is experiencing.
Here is a useful link for more details on what is happening/has happened in Chile during the protests: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-50512093?intlink_from_url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/topics/c452lzylemmt/chile-protests&link_location=live-reporting-story
In summary, 22 people have been killed as a result of excessive police force, while thousands have been seriously injured, tortured and/or sexually assaulted. These are absolutely abhorrent acts of injustice and I was profoundly moved by this whole situation, compelling me to write something about it then and there. I deeply admire Mon Laferte for using her platform to raise awareness of the human rights abuses that are happening all over the world. Mon Laferte reminded us all that our bodies are not merely sexual tools, they are powerful vessels – holding, giving and supporting life.
Here Mon Laferte chose to use her body to express a significant message. She utilised the power of the naked female form to highlight our human right to protest, to challenge norms, to shake systems, to change the world.
No substance truly annihilates forsaken pain
No chemical can cure the crash
Crash
Crash
Of a shattering heart
Breaking
On the floor of your chest
The bleeding,
The agony,
It cannot be avoided
Numbed, perhaps
But that is like
Walking bare foot
Over the shards of your own heart
Pretending the wounds aren’t there
Pretending
That the pieces
Of your once whole heart
Aren’t now festering inside of you
Like a malignant lump
No longer beating
But bleeding
Seeping through every crevice of your soul
Until you are utterly consumed
Neglected pain
Cannot be numbed by illegal substances
That promise of temporal joy
Temporal escape
Temporal release
Because as the substance leaves you
And your plane lands
And you feel yourself descending
Down a very deep hole
The pain will greet you there
That misery you left on stand by
On hold
Because life got in the way
But I know, love
This world is still cruel to the kindest of souls
And life doesn’t stop
Life doesn’t give way
Life doesn’t allow you to process this pain away – naturally
So we drink it away,
We smoke it away,
We love it away
But when your plane lands
And you feel yourself descending
Down a very deep hole
The pain will greet you there
Larger than before
So do not expect it to whisper
Do not expect it to meet you conveniently
Expect the room where your pain resides to be empty
Cleared of any redeeming quality
So when the chorus of your pain takes to the mic
Expect its volume, its power to be
Amplified
Dear Heart,
I know you think you love him, I know he stole your Sunday with thoughts of him that clawed at your chest, but how can you be sure that what you are feeling is love? How can you be sure that what you are feeling is any good for you or beneficial in anyway? I’ve been there. Through it all, with you. Helped you heal and we finally got ourselves back on our feet. Maybe the memory of the pain and scars he caused has escaped you. But with me; they remain. Vivid and haunting. That is why it hurt to be around him, love and resentment do not mesh well inside do they? But I am writing to tell you that I have been doing some thinking, and I believe it was the sudden realisation that some love for him still lingers inside you that stung the most. After a year of recovery: forgetting his name, quelling the desire for his touch and erasing all memory of the feelings he provoked within you. But alas, just one look dismantled all the barriers, all the walls you spent so long building around your heart to protect you from people like him. You feel like this is what love does, this is how love behaves? Well, lucky for you I do all the thinking and it’s a bitter shame. A bitter shame that you mistake a dagger for a rose, every time. A bitter shame that despite all the pain he has caused you feel like something that is within you is drawn to something that is within him. And this paralyses you with fear. What will become of these feelings? I am here to remind you of the last time you opened up to him. Remember how that felt? How he turned your courageous efforts of making something lasting and true into a whirlwind of anxiety and dismay. I will not let that happen to you again no matter what feelings you, mere Heart, think you have. I will be your guard. Always.
With my deepest concern,
Mind
Dearest Mind,
I offer you my deepest and truest apology for all the agony and despair I have made us endure at times, but I feel like in spite of everything it will be worth it. He awoke some things inside of me that I thought were dead, things, heeding your advice, I tried to kill. But as you can see, despite all our efforts, merely his presence alone ignited something in me. I used to think that this made me weak but now I believe that this all simply confirms something we’ve been trying to deny. I’m in love. Who knew it would feel like this? How does love arrive so quickly, so unexpectedly? These are questions you can not answer, Mind, because this love did not come from you. It was not thought up, no matter how many times you would tell me so, to alleviate the pain. It feels too real to deny … to simply ignore. It feels brand new, as if our past was purely preparing us for that very moment – the moment we realised our love for each other at the same exact time. Maybe I do not know what will become of these feelings but do not disparage my honesty. Try to understand, do not judge me when I tell you that to deny my feelings at this very moment would be to deny something I believe to be monumental. A pivotal moment in my life that will shape and colour all things proceeding. Your warning has simply reminded me of his unquestionable influence, how I will forever feel tied to him. Our fates are intertwined and this is something logic can never truly fathom. My only desire is for you to enjoy the splendour love brings with me, without reservation. This is what it means to be alive.
With love,
Heart
Welcome to Ruth's Rhapsody 